JFK's ASSASSINATION from my Journals Part III

Pages 156 -158 (These posts were from what I wrote back then- 50 years ago.  Much has changed, not only the world but many of my ideas)

Sunday November 24, 1963

2pm this afternoon Lee Oswald, suspected slayer of President Kennedy died of a gunshot wound inflicted by Jack Ruby!!

Kennedy's body was taken from the White House to the Capitol Building by a caisson of six white horses and a black one. When they got to the Capitol, Mrs Kennedy, Caroline, John Jr and the rest of the immediate family had to stand and listen to Hail to the Chief and two or three Eulogies. Then someone brought in a big wreath and President Johnson helped put it beside the casket. He bowed his head for a minute.  Mrs. Kennedy and Caroline knelt down and Mrs. Kennedy kissed the casket.  I sat watching it and wept and wept.  I could neither stop watching nor could I stop crying.   God love Mrs. Kennedy, she is so courageous and so brave.  She not only had to hold up in front of the public but also in front of her children.   I know I feel drained, absolutely and completely.

Last night our neighbors had a noisy party and I don't understand it. I wish I could just let it go and release it. This was probably their way but have they no feelings? Last night was not party night and I couldn't help but get mad.  I wanted to call them up and yell at them. I got over this but it is still puzzling.

The time is now 7:15 pm Sunday and I am impressed how unreal things seem. Things seem like they are all screwed up and untrue. Each day seems like the same day.  I wonder what Emmet Fox would have to say about all this?  He probably would say that there is a power behind what is going on and it is for good. What does money and prestige and material things matter now? This goes to show how very important peace of mind really is. Health, security and peace of mind far outweighs everything else.

Mother phoned me around 3 and was very upset.  She said that the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald proves this was not the work of a maniac. She says Oswald was killed because they were afraid he was going to talk.  She also said that every Cuban interviewed from Miami said this was the work of Castro. 

Personally I have the feeling that Oswald did not kill Kennedy. Sure all the evidence leads up to it but there was no positive identification nor did anyone hear him confess.

I'm wondering what changes will come about because of all of this.  By changes I do not mean the obvious political but the changes in everyday people. Will this change certain actions of people or will they continue to think about their petty, selfish ways?  Will this change fashion, types of music, ways of doing things like going to church and many many other things?  I think, I believe that this whole weekend has shaken many people up and made them sit up and think.  Surely no one over twenty one will forget this weekend. Surely there will be many repercussions and changes and those must be for the good.

What amazes me is how fast things can change.  One minute everything is going along in sameness and the next minute the whole world seems to have turned upside down.

I feel as though I had lost a member of my own family. I remember how I felt when Daddy died - shock, disbelief, unable to think.

JFK's ASSASSINATION from my journals

Page 145 - 149 from my journals (These posts were from what I wrote back then- 50 years ago.  Much has changed, not only the world but many of my ideas)

Friday, November 22nd - six days before Thanksgiving, 1963. Today started out like any other day, which sounds like a cliche but how else can it be said? Today I felt quite happy and I talked to MK on the phone. Then I had lunch, cleaned up and turned on my favorite show GIRL TALK. About halfway through the show an NBC news bulletin came on saying that President Kennedy and Texas Governor Connolly had been shot in Dallas. My first reaction was, "Oh God, I don't believe it." Then the bulletin was repeated and I opened my mouth and frantically dialed mother on the phone. I couldn't get a dial tone and I thought what a dumb time for the phone to go on the blink. I rushed outside to find a neighbor's phone to report the phone trouble and saw the mailman. I told him and he was quite shocked. I had the need to talk to another adult. I ran back in the house, picked up the phone and got a dial tone so I called the repair dept. They said the trouble was because everyone was calling everyone else because the President had been shot. Then mother called and we didn't say very much. I called my mother in law who was without a radio or TV. Then MK called but we just couldn't say much of anything because the shock was too great. Now I know what it feels like to be speechless.
Not too long after that was the announcement that President Kennedy was dead. It was just unbelievable. I cried and called my mother in law. Then I wept and wept not because I think death is so terrible but for Jackie, the children and the family. My faith actually wavered and I wasn't quite sure how to pray. Imagine being so much a part of history! Kennedy is the third President to be assassinated since Lincoln. Wm McKinley was shot in 1901 and James Garfield in 1881.
Shock produces strange reactions. My first reaction was to run away. Where? Who knows. Then I wanted to go out and buy a pack of cigarettes. I thought, "what the hell." Then I wanted to eat. I guess these are just human reactions. I didn't do any of those things and I also thought of having a couple of stiff drinks. Oh brother!
A prime suspect has been picked up for suspicion of killing President Kennedy. His is Lee Harvey Oswald who gave up his U.S. citizenship to go to Russia. They say he was disillusioned and applied for a passport back to the U.S. with his Russian wife. They have a little son. He considers himself a Marxist and not a communist. He was arrested in New Orleans for passing out pro Castro leaflets. Who knows why this happened? Did Russia have a hand in this or Cuba or Communist's or Right wingers or was he just a poor confused person?
The time is 7:40 pm and NBC news is having a special program showing Kennedy's famous speeches from his inauguration, Cuba blockade, and his integration speech. I just cannot believe such a vital man is dead. Oh why am I saying this? He is alive but not on this plane. I hope he is OK where he is for he is a good man.
I didn't say anything to Edward (our 4 year old son) about the President's death because I did not think it was necessary but Edward told Bernie that someone shot President Kennedy and they didn't know who did it. I don't know exactly what to think about this. Of course Edward did hear this because I had the TV on all day since Kennedy was shot but I don't think Edward knows what shot means. I also do not think it is necessary to go into all this. Should I say anything about this or wait for questions?
At a time like this what does religion matter? Most of us were shocked and felt pain at the death of the President and a majority of us cried. Another indication and proof that we are all alike even thought our thoughts are somewhat different.
On NBC at 11:25pm Chet Huntley said that ??? saw Jackie Kennedy kiss her dead husband on the lips and take her ring off her finger and put it on his. What a poignant story! Somehow I have the feeling that Mrs. Jacqueline Kennedy is going to become famous in her own right, who knows how?
To be continued ....